That was the beginning of the end.
“He came home on Christmas, and then I’d say probably late February, early March, he started telling me that he had a hard time sleeping,” Rebecca Mullaney told Newsweek. “A military medical officer] prescribed him Ambien, and he took that for three days, and then on the third day I came home from graduate school, and I found him dead in our house. He had taken his life.”
Mullaney said her late husband, Army Captain Ian Morrison, who passed away at 26, was seeking help prior to his death, and was adamant to his wife that he had no intention of harming himself. A licensed counselor, Mullaney believes it was the effects of the sleeping medication Ambien that led to her husband’s passing, which the Army deemed a line-of-duty death. Just 24 when her husband died, Mullaney knew she had a long journey ahead of her, with grief as her companion.
But what she did not know then was that there would be an enormous obstacle in her road to healing: If she choose to remarry before 55, she would forfeit the benefits her husband had earned for her as a soldier.
Under current law, the spouses of a fallen servicemember lose their Survivor Benefit Plan and Dependency and Indemnity Compensation upon remarriage. Access to educational opportunities through the Fry Scholarship and Dependents Education Assistance are revoked. And they are neither allowed access to TRICARE health care plans nor can they access the military medical system that allows them to electronically handle their children’s prescriptions.
“Military spouses are one of the most under- and unemployed populations in the country, largely because they’re moving every two to three years and don’t have the ability to invest in their own retirement, their own financial future,” Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, deputy director of government and legislative affairs for the Tragedy Assistance Program For Survivors (TAPS), a group that has advocated for changes to the military survivorship laws, told Newsweek.
“We see military spouses who then become surviving spouses who never had the ability to have a career, invest in retirement,” she said, “so those survivor benefits are also their benefits, their retirement that they didn’t get to have as a military spouse.”
Haycock-Lohmann lamented that current rules requiring those benefits be revoked from anyone who remarries before 55 creates an “archaic” incentive for spouses to hold themselves out from being married in order to maintain financial stability.
Georgia’s Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock, who has been active in legislating on issues concerning the services afforded to the nation’s service members, introduced a policy four weeks ago aimed at addressing the issue. His office is working to “evaluate multiple options to find the most effective path forward.” One of those options includes inclusion in the annual National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which hit the Senate floor for deliberations yesterday. But with the bill already drafted, it remains to be seen whether Warnock’s proposal will make the final cut.
The Love Lives On Act, as the policy is called, would ensure “Gold Star spouses” maintain access to their benefits even if they remarry prior to 55. Haycock-Lohmann told Newsweek that TAPS has encountered little opposition against the legislation, and it currently holds bipartisan support with Republican Senator Jerry Moran of Kansas listed as a cosponsor.
“Our servicemembers are the best among us,” Warnock told Newsweek in a statement. “They show up in some of the most dangerous places to protect our freedoms. But it’s not just servicemembers who show up, their families make tremendous sacrifices for our country as well.”
“So, if a servicemember loses their life in service to our country, it’s unconscionable that we would threaten to take away their surviving spouse’s benefits should they choose to remarry,” he said.
“This bill will finally ensure Gold Star spouses retain their access to the benefits they deserve and earned through their patriotic service to our country,” he added. “As the son of a veteran, I know how important our military families are, and I’m committed to using my voice in the Senate to serve those who serve us.”
Shalan Webb was 27 when her husband, Army Staff Sergeant Christopher Webb, was killed in Iraq. Her daughter was 6 months old. She has not remarried, having “not met the right person.” However, she said she whole-heartedly supports the policy, even though the law does not presently affect her.
“That’s money that our husbands paid into, not just with their lives but financially as well, and that’s money we use to raise our kids, to go back to school, to better ourselves,” she told Newsweek.
“I don’t think that that should end just because you get married when you’re 25, or 27 like I was, and you’re told you’re going to lose everything if you get married before you’re 55 — that’s crazy,” she added.
Rebecca Mullaney has remarried, but she has not allowed her late husband’s memory to fade.
When she met Brennan Mullaney, now her husband, Rebecca shared the story of her marriage to Ian Morrison. Mullaney, a major in the Army Reserve, embraced both her and her past.
The couple discovered that Ian had attended West Point at the same time as Brennan. They also served in the same part of Iraq, though a year apart. Rebecca said when she talked to Brennan about Ian, he viewed him as “a brother in arms, not competition.”
The couple decided to give their newborn son the middle name “Samuel” — Ian’s middle name.
While Rebecca said it was “not a hard choice” to choose her relationship with Brennan if it meant forgoing her benefits, she said the passage of the Loves Lives On Act would mean a great deal to her. The bill would give her the opportunity to earn her Ph.D. and pursue a career in clinical psychology. She could also stay at home with Harrison before he starts school.
It would also serve to affirm the relationship she shared with Ian.
“The way that the law is right now, it really discredits our relationship that we had with our loved one,” Rebecca told Newsweek. “[Ian] will always be a part of our family, and something about them giving some kind of continuation of benefits says, ‘We see that too, your relationship was valid, the love you had was really valid.”
If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
